A lot of people are shocked when I tell them I grew up on a farm.

This is a photo of me and my horse Summer Breeze aka Breeze, at the Sunderland Fair in ‘96. She was a Pony of the Americas and I bought her with my own money made from acting.  I had her on our family farm until it was sold, and then she and my sister’s pony Bear went to live on a horse farm that a friend of ours owned.  Breeze was the most amazing horse I ever knew and we were a great team.  She passed away about a year ago of old age, approx 30, and she had a great life.

I found this photo a while ago in a memory box and had it on a shelf for a bit.  It’s a good memory to leave on here

and I can’t sleep.  I’m feeling anxious about things and I’m not sure what to do.  I’m wondering if I’ve made the right choices so far, if I’m on the right path, and I can’t stop my brain from thinking.  The past week I just felt like doing nothing and going on an extended vacation from my life.  I’ve been working really hard for very little money, and honestly, a few people don’t appreciate my effort.  Sometimes its very frustrating.

My horoscope this month suggest that I will be changing my career path dramatically and that has also got me thinking and analyzing everything I’m doing.  I know I love running my business but I also want to do more than just help other people get ahead.  I’m not really one to sit in the background and I’ve been doing it for a while now.  There are so many things that I want to do and so many ideas and decisions swirling around in my head.  I’m glad that 2009 is almost over and I’m looking forward to starting a new year.  My birthday is on January 1st and it makes it feel like I’m starting with a clean slate.  New year, new age, new me.

This definitely hasn’t been a bad year.  Challenging yes, but not bad.  I took some pretty big risks and accomplished a lot of my goals.  I feel more like “me” then I have in years and I think writing this blog has really helped with that.  I really love writing to express myself and this blog has been such a positive outlet.  It’s the one thing that is mine and I don’t have to answer to anyone about.  I want to do more with it and I am excited to see what else will come.

I think getting this off my chest has really helped.  Sometimes you just need to put it out there I guess.

Thanks for listening.